"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been
OVER A DECADE since my last confession."
Yes, that's how long since its been since I sat down with a priest and listed out my trespasses. This Saturday, as a parent of a First Communicant, I am required to show my daughter how it is done. It has really been over a decade since I last had my face time with a priest in this capacity. To be honest, I have no clue what to say.
Should I tell him that I have sinned against the church since I do and prefer the artificial means of family planning?
...that I believe that the Catholic church's stand on this issue is very antiquated?
...that it made me angry when a simple homily had made me think of hell and damnation instead of salvation and feeling Christ's love?
...that despite doing my best to follow Christ's two greatest commandment, I was not good enough because I was going against the church's teachings about contraceptions?
Should I also tell him that, despite my being born and raised in the Faith, and the 10 years of OSA (Order of St. Augustine to those of you wondering) education, that I really never did understood why I have to talk to a priest about my sins?
I am not a theologian nor do I know the content of the Holy Bible by heart.
Maybe someone can point or tell me exactly where it is in the Bible did Jesus tell his disciples to go forgive sins? During his life, didn't he send them out to preach the word of God?
Even after the whole Pentecost happened, did He tell the people in the room to go and forgive the men who seeks forgiveness?
I mean seriously, it was not until 1551 through the Council of Trent (don't believe me? Look it up!) that the whole thing came into the scene anyway.
To top all that, I have not been going to church every Sunday and on days of obligation.
Growing up, we never did go to church every Sunday.
If it wasn't for me going to a Catholic school, I probably won't even know that there's Mass every day and that First Friday mass exists.
I know. I know.
If I'm having this much difficulty accepting this whole Sacrament of Penance, why do it?
It's because when I got Emma baptized in the Catholic church, I promised myself, my family, and the Catholic church, that I will raise her in the Catholic faith. I did promise myself too that I will gladly help her explore other religions if that's what she wants to do when she gets older.
Despite my frustrations and my sometimes lack of faith in the church (not in God),
I am a Catholic.
I was born one, and will probably die as one.
So for my own sake and my kid, I will do my duty this Saturday to confess my sins, do penance and to amend my life.
