Bling

Asian women loves jewelries.
Regardless of what they are wearing,
may it be tees and flip flops,
flaunting their blinding and
often scandalous jewelry is a must.

Then there are those who wear
piles of the thick, yellow gold stuff
making them look like
they have jaundice.

My Mom, being Asian falls
in the group of blingers.
When all of her jewelry got
stolen she was devastated.

That incident just fueled
the fire in her to start
building her collection again.

Even before her jewelries got
stolen, she has been trying
her best to bring me into the fold,
with ZERO success.

Here's our typical conversation.

Cellphone rings...it's my Mom.
[conversation is mostly in Filipino, but
for the sake of the non-Flip reader I'm
translating it in English]

Me: Hello.

Mom: You at work? What are you doing?

Me: Yeah. What's up?

Mom: [starts talking about latest news...then
shifting the conversation to...] btw Star
is selling {enter type of jewelry here}. It's really beautiful

Me: [interrupting her glowing description] I can't afford it.

Mom: but it's only {$ enter amount}, and you
can pay it monthly.

Me: Can't afford it.

Mom: it's a good investment and it's
really good quality and price to match.

Me: [starting to get frustrated] Ma, I don't have
the money for that.

Mom: sayang naman [translation: too good to pass up]
and you really need to start have your own...

[at this point all I can hear is blah blah blah]

Me: Ma, why do I need to buy my own?
Didn't you say that everything you are
buying now, will eventually go to me?

[silence]

Mom: [speaking inrapid fire Filipino]...
ay putang ina!
(pretty much saying why do I
have to be a smart ass)

[Hangs up phone]